Straits Times 4 July 2021
I had shared the above news link via email with a few of my friends abroad one of whom is a lady citizen of Germany of Turkish origin. After having read the article on “misyar” “no-strings attached” so-called Islamic “marriage arrangements” that now reportedly are rife even in orthodox and traditional Saudi Arabia, she emailed me her comment : “Actually not surprising – faith, religion, whatever version, easily covers up anything the ordinary follower would normally not think of.”
My reply to her was not to disagree with her but to look at the matter in a more nuanced way and with a little bit of broader, philosophical understanding of human nature no matter to which religious persuasion it might belong in the world. Religion is not to be made the real issue here … it is actually human nature.
My response to her via email is reproduced below:
You’re right, Frau Angelika … traditional societies often do make use of convenient loopholes and exceptional proviso in Faith only to obtain public legitimacy for strictly private intention and deeds — especially in the matter of marriage and sexuality. That’s because in traditional societies like Saudi Arabia there is no separation in the laws of the land — as there is as we know in secular countries such as in the West and in “modernising” countries like India too — between the general constitutional law of the nation and purely religious or customary norms of communal or local societies that live within.
In India for example “live-in relationships” between any consenting adults (man, woman or LGBT) are legal under the secular Indian Constitution. However, under the traditional or customary “laws” of Hindu, Muslim or Catholic faiths, such “live-in” arrangements are strictly proscribed. But then people know that it is the general secular law of the land that will prevail over the “law” of religious faith and hence there is nothing that can prevent adults from carrying on “live-in relationships” freely and, in fact, in and out of as many such arrangements as they wish to have during a lifetime. Sexual promiscuity is given legitimacy under the secular Constitutional laws of India which in this regard are very similar to those in western societies.
But in Saudi Arabia (where I have lived and worked for 6 and half years in Riyadh) , there is no such separation of religious and civil law. There is only one law and it is Sharia under which marital relationships must be forged and conducted.
The sharia laws are very strictly conceived, enacted and enforced in terms of responsibilities and accountability imposed on both men and women who consent to marry. Those “responsibilities” and “accountability” are what modern Saudi society — which today, being so demographically youthful, that it is increasingly beginning to ape western secular ways of thinking and living — find extremely restrictive and at times oppressive. So, what next happens is that Saudi society at large starts exerting pressure on the religious establishment (i.e. the Grand Mufti , the ulemma or on the larger Islamic community called “the sunna”— to invent creative religious devises to get around the strict sharia laws relating to marriage and consensual sexual mores without however in any way seeming to be violative of the larger and more substantial tenets of Islam.
The scriptures and doctrines are then revisited by the religious priests and judges and after their review and deliberations, conducted under severe societal pressure, some kind of vague consensus is then arrived at by which a “fatwa” (religious edict) gets issued by the holy nexus that exists between religious and political authority in the country to provide at least some kind of social “release valve” for the social “pressure cooker” environment that builds up force and hence compels them to do what they end up having to do.
As a result what begins to gradually happen then is that various degrees of latitude (you may wish to call them convenient loopholes) in interpreting and enforcing religious law hitherto taboo suddenly becomes permissible. It’s like a bit of “tweeking” age-old religious tradition. Such latitude then becomes the legitimate basis that provides both relief and freedom to people to enter into quasi-marital arrangements such as those that have been reported recently as “misyar” marriage between consenting adults.
Human Sexuality is 90% biology and is only 10% ethics. In other words, it is natural individual expression pitted versus social collective restriction. In all societies of the world and in all history, civilisational progress is achieved only when the laws of the land are able to succeed in harmonising Ethics and Biology. Where uninhibited Biology triumphs there results only breakdown of social structures and institutions like Family, Wealth and Public Health. Where however Ethics triumphs over Biology, and in fact overwhelms it, the result is often pathological suppression of natural human love between the sexes, basic human freedoms, gender oppression and the festering of large-scale mental disorder and unhappiness amongst ordinary peoples.
As in everything else that we see in Nature , it is always difficult for societies anywhere in the world … and not only in tradition-bound Islamic countries … to be able to strike, achieve and maintain that fine harmonious balance that must ideally exist between the power of instinctual urge and the power of ethical aspirations in life.
Sudarshan Madabushi














